Each Friday, a person who is making bold moves, living well, nurturing their creativity, following their passions, and making magic will be featured on Bold Living Today.

Today’s interview is with Kayce Stevens Hughlett. She is an author, speaker, life coach, soul nurturer – and someone I admire deeply.  Kayce has the kind of energy and spunk that makes you want to fly and create something stunning – while skipping along eating your ice cream cone. Yes, she’s that amazing.

Check out what she has to say.

question 1:

Your new book, As I Lay Pondering – Daily Invitations to Live a Transformed Life, is very soulful. What inspired you to write it?

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Well, Kanesha… It seems to me that inspiration often arises out of surprising and difficult places. Personally, I’ve come to learn that life has a way of teaching us the lessons we need to know. I’ve also discovered that I haven’t always been particularly adept at paying attention to those lessons the first, second or even third time they show up. The beginning of As I Lay Pondering came out of a time when my world was spinning out of control and I desperately needed a lifeline. My eldest child was pushing boundaries in extreme ways, my mother had all but disappeared into the no man’s land of Alzheimer’s, and my carefully constructed good-girl-do-it-right-and-all-will-be-well box was exploding at the seams.

I began journaling to help maintain my own sanity. As I wrote and wrote and wrote, I discovered a creative and loquacious side of me that was begging to come out and play. (This was a delicious surprise, because I had always been labeled as practical, shy, and reserved and had never even considered questioning those labels even though I could feel a part of me might be missing.)  While I could say lots more about the book process (which is a whole story in itself), the inspiration for writing it came through experiencing the ability for transformation in my own life and ultimately wanting to offer the same gift to others.

***

{Kanesha} You have, indeed, created a spectacular gift with this book.

question 2:

OK, confession…I’ve been reading ahead in the book. I love the sections on “forgetting about comfort”. People are constantly seeking their comfort zone. Why is this an illusion?

***

Let’s ponder this, shall we? I lived most of my life seeking a comfort zone (and have to confess that I still do… I mean it’s so comfortable… or is it? But I digress.) The “illusion” all depends on how you define “comfort” and whether it’s your definition or someone else’s. Earlier in my life, comfort meant not making waves and sticking with the status quo. While this was easy in many respects, it kept me wordless and stuck which was anything but comfortable (or satisfying).

On the other hand, putting this book out into the world is exhilarating, thrilling, and something I was compelled to do. This process, however, is anything but easy and has pushed me to (and over) the edge of what I thought my “zone” looked like. That’s what I mean by “illusion.” We think we know what comfort looks like, but that often translates as stagnant. Discovering actual comfort is more aptly part of an ongoing journey of exploring our zone between being shut down (stagnant/numb) and living in perpetual anxiety. Comfort is about finding the sweet spot where our soul dances – the zone in between deadened and terrified. The illusion is that comfort holds steady when in reality it’s more like a moving target—what’s comfortable one day may turn out to be excruciating the next and vice versa. It’s up to us to keep exploring what our zone looks and feels like.

“Comfort is being at rest and at peace with the Universe and with oneself…” from As I Lay Pondering  (“Forget about Comfort”) How does that sound, Kanesha?

***

{Kanesha} I love it!

question 3: 

The questions at the end of each daily pondering invite the reader to dig deep. What prompted you to include these powerful questions in your book?

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This may sound odd coming from a writer, but I think there are too many words in the world. (Giggle giggle… I must pause here to relay a present moment experience, because as I was writing that last sentence about too many words my iTunes shuffle chose to play Van Morrison, “Talk is Cheap.” I just love it when things like that happen!) Well said, Van. Talk is cheap and here’s what I mean in this context. We can read all the how-to or inspirational guides in the world, but until we have actually experienced something it’s challenging to integrate or build on. The road to transformation is about stepping into life, not simply talking or reading about it. So, I wanted to offer readers accessible ways to access their inner depths if that’s what they choose to do. I also wanted to bridge the gap between “my” story and “our” story. While every reader may not resonate with the prose on a given day, my hunch is, given the opportunity, they might find something in the practice that connects with their life and allows them to dig deeper. For me, it all comes back to sharing ways for people to investigate and expand their lives and I believe the daily questions do that. If you agree, Kanesha, I’d love to hear one of your favorite prompts if you don’t mind sharing.

***

{Kanesha} So far, my favorite prompt comes from August 29 (I know, it’s only April!) when you discuss unexpected wholeness. The third question you ask (How are the fractures in your life part of your wholeness?) really slows me down and helps me appreciate and learn from the things happening to me and for me – that previously I would have considered a nuisance or negative. I feel more connected – more whole – to my self discovery and self awareness. I’m mindful and present and it feels really good – even in a moment of discomfort.

{Kayce} I absolutely adore your answer. It is a beautiful affirmation of why I wrote the book. My mantra when going through the not-always-easy process of writing and publishing became: If this only touches one person then it’s all been worth it. To hear you say you feel more connected and whole makes my heart sing and confirms the whole process was time and energy well spent!

question 4: 

You tackle the topic of being busy for the sake of being busy. What are three ways a person can get over their need to earn an “I’m so busy” badge?

***

One of my all time favorite quotes is by Howard Thurman who says, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

And I might add… not more overworked, under-living,  “busy” ones. So, if you’re going to be busy, then do it your way and make sure you feel alive while doing it! My three suggestions to drop the “I’m so busy” badge include:

1. Find a badge that feels better and define how you like to fill your “busy.”

2. Play more. Be alive!

3. Prioritize what’s really important for you – the rest will follow.

May I please add one more?

{Kanesha} Of course!

{Kayce} If these steps feel overwhelming or impossible to do on your own, then please reach out and find someone to help. Kids are great mentors for playtime and feeling good. Also, Kanesha and I can recommend some delightful grown-up coaches who love to play hard and dig deep! Feel free to ask.

***

{Kanesha} True that!

question 5: 

What six words describe bold living for you?

For me, bold living is all about being Fearless, Joyful, Present, Authentic, Playful, and Compassionate.

Kanesha – What a pleasure and privilege to get to visit with you and share As I Lay Pondering with your amazing audience! Thank you so much for spreading your light in the world and helping others do the same!!

***

{Kanesha} Thank you for doing the same, Kayce. It was so fun working with you.

***

More about  Kayce S. Hughlett:

From accountant to author and “good girl” to risk taker, Kayce Stevens Hughlett is a soulful and spirited woman. In her life roles (coach, writer, muse, mother & friend), she invites us to playfully and fearlessly cross the thresholds toward authentic living. A strong proponent of compassionate care in the world, Kayce’s live and online work focuses on the principle that we must live it to give it. She delights in walking alongside others as they explore and unearth their own pathways toward passionate living. A Certified Martha Beck Life Coach and a licensed mental health counselor, Kayce is available for speaking engagements, retreat facilitation, personal life coaching, and just about anything that includes play! She blogs for fun (and personal sanity) at diamondsintheskywithlucy.blogspot.com and plays for pay at kaycehughlett.com. As I Lay Pondering: daily invitations to live a transformed life is available through Amazon.com or her websiteif you prefer a “personalized” copy.

Kayce’s Live it to Give it class starts on April 16, 2012.