Each Friday, a person who is making bold moves, living well, nurturing their creativity, following their passions, and making magic will be featured on Bold Living Today.

Today’s interview is with Michelle Seitzer. I have to be honest, I stumbled onto Michelle’s fabulous work because I live in a multigenerational household. Michelle has provided a safe haven for me to research information and ask questions about baby boomers. The information is fresh, inclusive, and to the point. I appreciate Michelle’s proactive approach to bringing ignored topics to the forefront and providing a safe place to land as an individual or family tries to figure things out.

Spend some time enjoying the wisdom Michelle has to offer during this interview.

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{Kanesha}

question 1:

Michelle, I feel so fortunate to have connected with you through the blogging world. What called you to specialize in eldercare content as a writer and editor?

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{Michelle}

Kanesha, the feeling is mutual! I love following your blog about multigenerational living. It’s genuine, sweet and totally relatable.

My story really begins with my grandparents. I was always close to my mom’s parents and my dad’s mom (I never met my paternal grandfather; he passed away before I was born), and I really believe that these positive relationships shaped my view of elders and fueled my passion and compassion for these special people in our world.

I also had dreamed of being a writer probably since the first time I held a pencil, but I had lots of other career aspirations besides writing. I wanted to be a teacher, fashion designer, missionary — you name it, it was on there.

As I got older and extended my circle of friends and acquaintances, elders continually surfaced as some of the people I treasured the most. As a teen, I often felt I could relate to elders better than my peers.

When I was in college, I volunteered at a nursing home as part of a freshman intro class requirement of 20 hours of local community service. I enjoyed it so much (particularly hearing about the things the residents had seen, done and experienced over their lifetimes) that I continued volunteering even after my required hours were fulfilled. A few months before I graduated (with a degree in English, specializing in writing), the nursing home administrator offered me a job as the activities director. I accepted.

In those 5+ years at the nursing home, my eyes were opened to so many things — the different approaches that families took to deal with a parent’s decline, the right and wrong ways that the management team ran the facility, the major systemic changes that needed to happen in elder care as a whole, and how the residents were treated by staff and family members (often, not the way they deserved to be treated). I had to do something about these things I saw. I had to make a difference.

Long story short, after experiencing complete burnout at the end of my second year as a full-time employee at the nursing home, I tried two different master’s programs and spent a few years working at a CCRC (continuing care retirement community) before landing the position of public policy coordinator with the Alzheimer’s Association. In that position, I felt I was able to effect some change using the experiences I gathered in the nursing home. But eventually, I had to leave that position, too. My beloved grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and declined very quickly in the years I worked there. After his death, I needed to step away from all things related to elder care and Alzheimer’s so I could grieve and heal.

After almost a year in a transitional at-home sales position (for a senior living-related company), I started building my freelance career, which has blossomed to where I am now, doing it full-time. (As you’ll learn in question 4, I’m very busy!).

My background, experience and passion for elder care has been the biggest advantage in establishing myself as a freelancer — having a niche/specialty is everything — and I truly feel that I have my dream job, although all the other positions along the way have been necessary and totally helpful for writing about my favorite subject.

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{Kanesha}

I can totally hear your passion behind the work you are doing. I really love what you say about your time with your grandparents. I hope my children feel that way since they have been living with their paternal grandmother for the past five years.

question 2:

Tell us about your #ElderCareChat, on Twitter, and why you started them.

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{Michelle}

The #ElderCareChat was born out of necessity: About two years ago, Gina LaGuardia, Seniors For Living’s editorial director, had asked me to seek out Twitter chats related to senior housing/elder care as a means for ramping up engagement within our Twitter community. I couldn’t find any on my own, so I reached out to fellow elder care tweeter Denise Brown (@Caregiving) to ask what chats she participated in. When we both realized there weren’t any (at least, none that had any longevity), we decided to start our own. The rest is history!

We now meet on the 1st and 3rd Wednesday of every month at 1 p.m. ET. It’s a great mix of elder care advocates, professionals, and family caregivers, and we cover serious and sometimes even silly topics related to aging and caregiving. It’s a great community!

You can read about past chats and get information on participating here.

***

{Kanesha}

I love how you saw the need for the #Eldercarechat and stepped up to make it happen. I love those discussions and I learn so much, so thank you again.

question 3:

Living with my mother-in-law has made me pay attention to baby boomers and their social and health needs. What are additional ways other adult children can positively focus on the needs of their boomer parents without micromanaging?

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{Michelle}

That’s a great question. In my opinion, a hands-off approach is best. Of course you’re concerned about them, as you should be, but the role reversal stuff can get sticky and ugly. Kids (of any age) generally don’t like having their parents tell them what to do, and I would guess that parents of any age don’t like having their kids calling the shots either.

So when it comes to things like “you need home care, you should get out more, when was your last doctor’s appointment,” I think that bringing these concerns to your parent’s best friend is maybe a better way of expressing them. That’s not to say that you should go behind your mom’s back and be sneaky about it, but if you’re worried about her, ask a friend if she’s worried, too. If she isn’t, then maybe your worries are unjustified.

That’s not to say that direct communication can’t happen. In fact, if you’re really concerned about something, you should speak directly to your parent about it. But be aware that approach and tone is everything. Consider this — “Mom, is there anything I can do to help?” versus — “Mom, you’re a mess. You need my help!” To which one would you be more receptive?

***

{Kanesha}

You are so on point here. Tone and approach are everything. Staying in your own business is a big lesson I have learned since I have been living with my mother-in-law. Plus, I ask clarifying questions before I start making assumptions and getting in her business. It takes awareness, diligence, and patience (and sometimes a glass of wine).

question 4:

What writing projects do you have on deck?

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{Michelle}

I always have a lot of writing projects on deck, and I love it that way (though I’ll admit — when the ideas aren’t flowing, which happens from time to time, it can be a challenge!).

Every weekday, I write two news-oriented posts for SeniorsforLiving.com about some aspect of senior housing, and each month, I do five editorial-style blog posts and two to three guest posts on the site’s behalf. That is in addition to managing the company’s social media accounts.

I also write for a number of other clients on everything from wheelchair ramps to fashion to adoption (my husband and I are currently in the process of adding to our family in this way). This summer, my goal is to catch up on a few book reviews. One of the many things I love about being a writer is getting an advanced copy of a book sent to me for my perusal and possible review on a blog site. I have a stack of five on my desk waiting to be explored.

***

{Kanesha}

I like to have a lot of writing projects going on, too, like my upcoming eBook. Erm…you just reminded me that I have a book I’m supposed to review. I better get on that.

question 5:

What six words describe bold living for you?

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{Michelle}

Intention, enthusiasm, organization, follow-through, compassion, change.

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{Kanesha}

Thank you for all this wonderful information, Michelle!

***

More about Michelle:

Before becoming a full-time freelancer, Michelle Seitzer spent 10 years doing communications & activities for several assisted living communities and also worked as a public policy coordinator for the Alzheimer’s Association. Seitzer has blogged for SeniorsforLiving.com since November 2008 and currently writes for BELLA Magazine, ParentSociety.com, and numerous online publications covering elder care issues. She was also a long-distance caregiver for her grandfather, who died of Alzheimer’s in 2009.