CONFESSION: How I made life harder than it has to be

Happy October!

It’s the fourth quarter of the calendar year and I like to think of it as transformation season.

Why transformation season?

We’ve had 9 solid months to write (rewrite) resolutions, to get going on goals, to collect some data, to see where we get stuck, to re-assess how we want to proceed, to reflect – and then transform anything that didn’t quite meet the mark or our expectations.

Now let’s be honest.

Going through our daily lives is not exactly a linear process. Sometimes we want it to be a smooth and straight path, but the reality for many of us is – it just never goes this way.

I was talking with a good friend about entering the transformation season and I confessed, “I really think I’m making things harder than they need to be. I mean, I want to be surrounded by rock star business women, honest friends, and badass clients. And still, I keep getting sidetracked by people whose energy is not aligned with mine. I know it’s not aligned instantly, but I still find myself in their orbit and I’m annoyed with myself about this. I need to do better.

Her response, “Ok, since you’ve had this realization, now what?

The ‘what’ was asking myself:

  • How am I prioritizing things?
  • What do I need to subtract?
  • Am I making space for bold people and bold opportunities?
  • At what point is it a ‘not right now’ or a firm ‘no’?

I gave myself a few days to sit with these questions.

I analyzed my morning warm up, journal pages and my calendar.

I looked at the business meetings, meet ups, and collaborative projects I had completed and that were in the mix.

I reviewed my social media habits and time spent ‘escaping’ in to those cyber spaces.

 

Through all of this, I figured out I was making things harder for myself by:

Trying to be like other people

There was a period in 2017 when Bold Living Today’s messaging was a bit blah because I was trying to follow the path of some other entrepreneurs. (Yup, I unfortunately did that.) You know what? It didn’t work. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t bold. It fell flat. Lesson learned.

Stifling creativity

I’m super creative. All my friends know and my close colleagues know it. I don’t have a corporate background, but I do know strong leadership, how to be an influencer, and how to build solid and collaborative teams. When I sent pitches to some corporate organizations, my materials were not creative. They did not reflect my joy for teaching, my ability to draw out connections, or the creative ways I can instantly help people shine. So, no call backs with those dry and non-creative pitches. Back to the drawing board to do better and be myself.

Neglecting wellness

I would give myself a B+ in taking care of my health and wellness. It’s not an A because I get busy and make excuses – so there’s that. One of my favorite doctors left the practice where I was a patient. I felt like this doctor broke up with me. I boo hooed about it, tried to see another doctor in the practice, and it all was terrible (like bad dating). Then I took a bit more time to find a new doctor – but I wasn’t quick about it. I drug my feet and pouted. That didn’t serve me at all. So don’t be like me in this – do better. Don’t put your wellness off.

Overdoing stuff

I am very passionate about quality education for kids, especially my own (yes, I own that). I have been heavily involved in all aspects of each of my children’s education. I want them to be happy, supported, and developing an appreciation for learning. To achieve all of that does not automatically mean you have to be at the school all the time, heading up a bazillion committees, and volunteering for a gazillion hours. When June came, I was so exhausted, bitter, and side-eyeing pretty much everything that dealt with my kids’ schools. When August came, I did better and made better time-commitment choices. That re-evaluation of time has instantly made me happier.

Since my transformation season is fully underway, I have experienced some instant improvements after calling myself out.

I feel more relaxed.

I’m keeping my time management boundaries firm.

Work opportunities have increased since my pitches and materials are better aligned with my creative voice.

I feel freer and ready to keep my transformation season moving forward.

What are your plans for October and the fourth quarter of the calendar year? Are you in transformation season? Why or why not?


 

If you are entering transformation season, use these tools to support you.

6 Ways to Set Your Priorities

Learning to Ask for Help

7 Steps to Combat Over-Doing

Self-Love BINGO

Recovering From A Setback

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