It’s not quite resolutions seasons even though folks are looking ahead to the upcoming New Year.
There is a nagging message that seems to permeate everything right now.
That message is, “You are out of time!”
You are out of time because:
- there are only three more months left in the calendar year
- you have not done what you promised yourself you would do
- time is not on your side
- you better do it now or forever regret it
- the end is looming
- yadda yadda yadda – and get off my jock!
This now or never ambush is something adulthood really stinks at.
It’s like we’ve reached our grown years and we do not get the opportunity, grace, or pleasure of changing things up as we learn more, have epiphanies, or just decide to dive a bit deeper.
For women, especially, I think we get held hostage by having fully developed strategic plans that are supposed to deliver us to the land of glory. And as we wander around in the fullness of living – that land of glory is always further away than we predicted.
It’s not fun.
It’s not hot.
And it does not feel like the sweet spot.
I was working with a new client and she said, “You would think I would know how to do and be better at this age, yet here I am.”
I had to stop her and say, “Where you are is the perfect place to be because you are open, present, and living. These are gifts that are undervalued and under-celebrated.”
Does any of this sound familiar?
Be honest because we are amongst bold friends here.
Skill development is awesome, yet tricky because if we don’t know why we’re going for it – we may be focused on the wrong things for our personal right now.
It’s important to remember:
Transitions are invitations to getting out of your own way.
Creating daily joy is the elixir of making daily life less mundane.
Paying attention to the whispers of your dreams is the salve to a creaky mindset.
Pushing pause to just be and not always grinding or hustling is just as valuable – yet not highly rated – as receiving accolades for always being busy.
If you are working on or thinking about upgrading some of your life skill, I think these are the best ones for this season:
Sharing your story: When you know and understand your journey, struggle, and worth – you can share your story in a way that allows you to operate on your own terms. It’s time to stop sending your representative ahead to scope things out for you. Instead, send your real self. Share your story. Tell your truth. Be all in – in a way that helps you attract the right people and opportunities. Faking it in the bedroom and in real life is not pleasurable and will not curl your toes.
Empathizing with others: Things are messy right now in the world. Have you seen or noticed it? For many, they want to turn away and just hide in a bubble of denial and safety. Uhm, nope. Wrong move. Empathizing with other allows you to be a better listener, increases your ability to be more compassionate, and helps you expand your lens in seeing the world from a different perspective. Showing empathy is a comforting tool that allows you to make stronger connections in the middle of chaos and uncertainty. We could all use a bit more of that.
Prioritizing your pleasure: Pleasure is a tricky word for a lot of people. The things I hear the most are pleasure has to be reserved for special occasions, for weekends, or when you go vacation. I call BS on that. Pleasure is an everyday thing that many of us could benefit from – especially if we are able to experience it on a regular basis. When we allow ourselves to enjoy pleasure – we are less likely to try to escape or use coping skills that underserve us. The best way to understand your pleasure is to create a list of when you feel the most powerful, valued, and satisfied. Based on this list, link daily activities to your pleasure and try to incorporate that into your daily schedule.
On which life skills are you currently focused? Does this focus include your pleasure, empathy, or personal story?
Use these tools to support you: