Relax. You’ll end up where you are supposed to be.
I have these sentences written on a sticky note – that’s attached to my computer.
I see this phrase any day I’m working on my computer.
Why is this important?
Because there are so many conflicting messages and images about being prepared, hustling, grinding, being a boss b*tch, winning, and succeeding.
Most of these themes come with the message of – if you’re not always working and if you don’t work fast of enough – you’re never going to achieve enough.
You won’t be successful enough.
You won’t be important enough.
You are not enough.
You’ll end up where you are supposed to be.
The limbic system is where emotions like fear and anxiety reside, so it’s natural for our brains to overact when we feel uncertain and out of control.
But transition time and the “in between” time don’t have to be full of stress.
We can pause and lean on our emotional intelligence to guide us and help us tap into our rational thinking.
Here are three ways to boost your emotional intelligence.
1. Get clear about your fear(s)
When your limbic system ignites your fear and clouds your decision making, grab your journal. List all the fearful ideas and thoughts that are coming up. Color code the thoughts that are rational vs. irrational. This will give you some mental rest when all this information leaves your brain. You can also share this list with someone on your help team (e.g. coach, teacher, friend, therapist, etc.). They can support you in figuring out your next best step.
2. Think about your progress vs. perfection
When you use your emotional intelligence as support tool, you spend more time enjoying your journey. You use previous accomplishments as motivational tools to help you figure out how to proceed. You see uncertainty as a teacher – instead of internalizing uncertainty as something you lack. You resist looking at perfection as goal because you know that thought process perpetuates self-doubt and regret.
3. Focus on what matters
Paying attention to your energy while navigating transitions helps you stave off decision-making fatigue. Using categorized task list, allotting enough time in your schedule, and understanding your productivity profile provide you with the tools to help balance the ways you deal with uncertainty. You look at risk as something to untangle – instead of viewing risk as all or nothing. Focusing on what matters also boosts your confidence because you won’t feel overwhelmed or stretched too thin.
What are your biggest transition hurdles right now?
Do you need to relax more?
How are you using your emotional intelligence to support your bold mindset?
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